
I’ve been to San Agustin thrice.
Once for a history assignment, twice for weddings.
I did the whole tourist thing in 2005 or 2006 as a requirement for Ambeth Ocampo’s history class. I noticed how creepy the priest garb display was (a whole hallway lined with priest’s sutanas on headless dress forms) and the erotic carvings on the chinese chests and drawers (somewhere on the second floor).
The second time was in 2007, for my college friend’s wedding. I noticed how the church had its own set of lectors and readers (one of them sounded like she was talking with marbles in her mouth) whose job was to make sure the wedding was on schedule. Every couple had ONE (1) hour to get everything from the processional, actual rites, contract signing, requisite photo session and recessional. So it was a pretty snappy wedding.
Last Saturday, I attended my cousin’s wedding. I expected it to be a quick like last time, since the Church keeps a very tight schedule. As soon as the couple makes it out the door, they have the next wedding’s entourage lining up in pairs ready to walk down the aisle. This time I noticed that the supposed molding and relief on the ceiling, were actually painted on, instead of sculpted on. I spent about half of the ceremony looking up at the ceiling wondering why I hadn’t noticed it before. Grissom is right. No one ever looks up.
I also noticed all the tourists who actually attended my cousin’s wedding, and even snapped photos of the entourage and guests while the ceremony was going on, as if the wedding were a live diorama in place to give them a full filipino church experience. Absolutely surreal. My cousin had her reception in the Church’s garden area, so while the post-wedding festivities were proceeding, waves of tourists would walk by and snap photos.
Finally, this time I noticed that the bathroom had really beautiful tiled floors.

I conveniently took a trip to the rest room during the single person traditions of the wedding reception. Then I joined my recently separated uncle on one of the benches in the lobby.
“Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you there with everyone else?”
“This is where non-cooperative single people sit.”
“This is where the cool kids hang out.” *laughs*